Thursday, 4 December 2008


Lately, I've been really lazy upon updating my blog. I'm to be faulted as I have massive stuff to do now although I'm free from life's responsibilities. While I was rearranging my files for a PC format, I dug up my old diary and think this is worth posting. The old Klutz, me. Yea goes to show how long I've come from those days. So, without further ado:-


feel so stupid....everyday feel this same feeling...stupidly lingering around...
the previous diary was deleted so i have to type a new entry now
i have included timestamps so i get a log of this..
i feel so one will kesian me but i keep on baiting for 1
what am i fishing for
compassion? when i have it i throw it away very far
waste my time.....i hate this feeling.................................i do so much for
so little.....cant even get someone to appreciate me............this is the last...for
real and i will make it the bestest ever......and i will do it the best way that i can...
i know it wont change anything and i dont want it to change anything....just my way
of saying goodbye....i wanna close this book for real....please let me have the courage
to do it and god please light a way for me in this really dark life that i have right now
i cant see anything, no light no nth............i wanna start anew...ive already taken the
few steps that i need to...i can go further....please guide really lost...


today abit ok...spirits kinda high....:)

youtube tut links


wow im writing a diary entry in the morning....ive basically figured out my leisure system
out and im quite happy about it....a combination of fighting games and rpg to keep me alive
for the next 50 years....thats my entertainment lol.....yea it figures that if i get busy
along the way, ill have to slowly discard it 1 by 1....


quit crusader

10 = malet
= take things from wan sern
= +3 all
= glove
= try get atk glove
18 = battle crossbow
22 = balanche
28 = mountain crossbow
20 = sauna 10 dex
26 = speed + 7 shoe
32 = eagle crow
38 = heckler 7 60%
50 = cape
= overall with dex 100%
= rower 7 60%

Level SP
10 +1 Critical
11 +3 Critical
12 +3 Critical
13 +3 Critical
14 +3 Critical
15 +3 Critical
16 +3 Critical
17 +1 Critical, +1 Arrow Blow, +1 Double Shot
18 +3 Double Shot
19 +3 Double Shot
20 +3 Double Shot
21 +3 Double Shot
22 +3 Double Shot
23 +3 Double Shot
24 +1 Double Shot, +2 Blessing
25 +1 Blessing, +2 Eye
26 +3 Eye
27 +3 Eye
28 +3 Focus/Arrow Blow
29 +3 Focus/Arrow Blow
30 +3 Focus/Arrow Blow

3/9/2007 12:50 am

really confused right lots of work to do but dunno how to do it...i gotta plan
step by step to not screw this...i basically gotta be really fast and accurate tomorrow.
and get studying if not im really gonna be screwed. the next thing i gotta be more careful
is ah fun's stuff....seems to be very less... hope it gets more...i know my priorities.
really gotta get the study thing down to the wire. hopefuly i can do a full revision inside
these few days. and open the next week for questions etc and discussion...god please bless
me i really need this break to happen regardless of if i die in the middle of it.
ah fun stuff i really cant do it properly...need to be microing really really well...
god bless me not let me run out of my ideals....i really need this...
this is really pek now

8/9/2007 7:50 am

listening to ah fun saying that she will go japan to work really makes me wonder why the
hell im still stuck in malaysia doing crap when its possible to do crap in japan. will
update when i get some ideas.

19/9/2007 10:54pm

thinking to compile stuff for ah fun now as im free, will look for extra jobs on soon.
games i want to be good at

vampire savior/hunter

thats it for now till i remember more

22/9/2007 12:23 am

got to compile some of the stuff now. gonna be proceding soon enough altho it is really
boring today. missed an opportunity to meet a very old friend bfor he heads off to UK for
good in exchange for a silly banter with a housemate i KINDA fancy. yup really stupid i knw
i shoulda learnt all this by now already. feeling like a lose bird with no legs or a cat
buttering itself up to get food. feeling like this could be forever and not
gonna stop. thanks for the great exchange god. trying my luck? not anymore dickheads.
tomorrow they are going to times square to watch a stupid movie...dont feel like joining
the memories doesnt seem to be a good idea to go with them. suddenly it really feels
awkward that i no longer know anything tangible. theres no grasp and a sudden feeling of
airiness imploded in me.

this defeated without fighting energy in me is really taxing. i think ill just suicide
tomorrow man

11:56 pm

hrm today getting bored as usual this is saturday. should be happening as i heard KC wants
to come visit me. By now i still havent picked up anything but probably will just stick to


this will be the core games that i will partake in. this will be my discipline but more to
be added. from now on my life will be purely result oriented cause its fucking hard to keep
failing everytime and not get anything out of it pretty pissed off at the way ive been
handling things...sigh.

lets do some short goals for now

finish ah fun's things

let this be and more to be added. as u know this is more as a keep track txt file then an
actual diary as i have less breakdowns as of late. cause tired lol....

ah fun why u go uk!!!

having some difficulties choosing whether to choose maple story or i said i
have some legacies to fulfil in RO and also in maple...sigh....should not focus so much
but lets try to make this work.

8/10/2007 12:10 am

surprise, schedules!

finishing another copy for kb = monday
burning movies = due tuesday
finishing box = thursday
shipping = next next sat/sun

got a list of games ready,

already uninstalled RO so theres no conflict there



This should be the consolidated list and not gonna change soon...
For fun; adding mbac and efz...

17/10/2007 4:44 pm

Wow bad day today, got a fever now im stuck playing maple lol....yea gonna keep track of
whats happening in maple for now on. already got a consolidated list and its FINAL!!!



THis is the final list and will not change soon. What i need is results now.

Going to go to 25 for my archer today. lets pray for the best :)

8/12/2007 12:46am

haha. its been a very long time since i updated this and i know i suck.
plenty of stuff happen. lets highlight the significant ones

bought RM300 worth of acash
then while just 1 week into this acash purchase i........

got a psp
hooked on tekken
influence friends to buy psp
got offered permanent job status in khl
joserphine left
were all happy
i communicate alot with sg buloh peeps
looking for new apartment
left the online gaming world temporarily while looking to play maple soon
lots of shit happened i cant recall lol
dont feel so down
its all uppy
went to new jusco
liking irene alot
having fun with her alot
hope nth happens cause its fun just hanging out
no emotional shit, son

heres what i did with irene today

-went to klcc park
-saw fountains
-surveyed the buildings
-watching klcc in the dark night
-went to eat fettucini and sphagetti
-commenting on others foods
-surveyed clothing (converse,quiksliver,bata my god a whole lot)
-btw u look good in that shoe irene, not a joke
-spent a hella fun time in kinokuniya
-went to secret store of isetan
-went to sony style
-played the playstation and watched some blu ray clips
-sat at all the chairs in sony style
-figured out the buttons on the tv panel
-identified the "spy cam" there
-went all the fucking way to aquaria to be stupid
-45% sales at giordano
-tried on the clothes on her back lol
-waited 10 minutes to buy lrt ticket
-another 20 minutes to wait for the bloody lrt to move
-talked about the perfect day out
-10 minutes journey back only to sit in the bus for another 15
-all the while joking in the bus and commenting a guy with broken glasses
-dropped by at the mamak, while getting identified by all her friends
-notice : were not an item
-went back feeling freaking tired
-read an appreciation sms by irene (thanks irene, i had fun too...)

pretty much it. gotta update this soon guys....gonna want to start writing again


In such a short time idecide to update this again


ok thats it lol...thanks for listening, prolly might never get back to online gaming


Starting to be lonely again....but the place is cool and i still love it lol, just
miss my friends a little.

11/2/2008 1145am

god its hard passing time with nth to do. particularly when u dont know what u CAN do.
prolly tonight i will go around the area after i take a nap, so i can familiarise myself
with the area. sigh gonna be boring but try to make it exciting by TRYING to go to 1u lol.
god speed lol..

11/2/2008 136pm

as im very bored at work now, i decided its best i blog about something im very fond of as
of late. this particular specimen of mine goes by the name of irene.

small girl, really nice kid. shes 19 btw mind you. pretty for her age. coming OF age.
hardworking, bright. lovely in a sense. nice eyes. even better if she doesnt laugh or smile
which she does alot.

i always seem to be happy in her presence for some reason i do not understand. it was never
really the kind of feeling with a loved one. it just has some sort of "old friend" kinda
feeling and the authority that she wants me to have over her is amazing. its so strong that
it seems natural and not forced, which i have to do to many people to get their respect.
it always seems so strange around her that i love this strange aura. i feel at home
immediately knowing im around her and it isnt in the way couples would be. i cant describe
it. brotherly love? but it really does feel strange. the way i feel around her.

she never fails to msg me back when she says she will. maybe this time she will but as of
late she has been missing my sms's. i wonder what happened to her. i can definitely take
this as the end but i dont want it to end because of some 3rd party authoritarian
movement that i dont condone as this is OUR feelings.

in all honesty, this was a very enjoyful ride in my fickle life. thank you for breathing
some well needed female loving into me. Irene, i thank you so much. If only you knew how
much those memories meant to me. :)


hi, this place is really cool

ill update stuff for now...haha this is getting so ridiculous. sigh

- sleeping in the warm sunshine :), love this very much :)

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